Here I am…
Here I am, it’s 10 am and I am sitting in my big comfy chair working on my latest crochet project. My fluffy dog is at my feet and I can hear the living room TV Blaring the Mickey Mouse Club House intro over and over again.
I take a moment and look into my mess of a living room. Sitting at the front of the couch are my two littlest ones,side by side, watching their favorite show together. Mars, she is still in just a diaper and her night shirt, her hair a tangled mess and Eli still in his Pjs.
I contemplate whether or not I am a shitty, lazy momma because I have yet to get them dressed or do their hair. I have no motivation to clean the living room (for the 3rd time this morning). Hell, I haven’t even done my own hair yet this morning.
But, then I sit and watch them. I can see just how content they are sitting there with one another. How they are so happy to just be with each other. Then, I hear Eli say to her “I love you Mara! Your my best buddy!”.
That’s when it hits me. These two could give a rats ass what they look like. They don’t mind sitting there in their pjs while watching TV and mommy works on her latest crochet project. They don’t mind doing anything really, as long as they are together.
They are simply content just being. Being 3 and 4 years old. The only thing they are worried about is what I am gonna make them for lunch (probably Chef-boy-ardee) and if I am gonna make them take a nap (hell yes I am).
I can’t tell you how many countless hours and days I have spent beating myself up because I don’t do the things social media moms say they do. I don’t dress my kids to the nines and I sure as hell don’t look like a magazine cover every day. My house doesn’t always look like something out of Better Homes and Garden and I normally always have laundry to do somewhere.
But, I do know one thing for certain. My children know that they can get hugs and kisses whenever they want (and when they don’t want lol). They know they will always have a hot meal. And they will never have to question whether or not their momma loves them.
I am a hot mess mom and I am damn proud of it. I am real and I am not sorry. I live everyday to ensure that my children are loved and cared for. I am not perfect and honestly I do not strive to be. I strive to be humble, loving and kind. I strive to show my children that it’s okay to march to the beat of their own drum. I bust my ass at work to make sure I can provide for them and they do not go without. I am a momma, I am human. I will make mistakes and I will win many personal victories.
But like I said before, I am human and I am okay with that.